Coming to an end

Yeah... January is coming to the end. Why does the time pass so fast..? Had not done anything achievable yet man. LOL I don't know if 2015 is a good year for me but I hope for the positive side (obviously). Life is in a mess, not in work or family tho, is erm... my feelings?

Having 'up and down' feeling really sucks. Sometimes, I can be real happy. Sometimes, my mood just become so down that I don't want to talk to anybody. Just want to be alone.

I always super cheerful around my friends, no matter during work / outing or whatever. I always be in my most happy and crazy side of mine. But I'm human too right, I get tired / sad sometimes.. I am not blaming anyone right here, just saying my thoughts. I am grateful to those who really really care for me, concern me, trying their best to listen to my problems. You know who you are. But, at times, I really don't know how to tell them. Or should I said, I don't want to start ranting out my personal feeling.. I afraid I might break down anytime..

Yesterday had a heart to heart talk with YY - I tell her about my latest ex-boyfr. I nearly break down. Not that I still got feeling for him, maybe I felt sorry for myself..? I don't know why but I managed to hold on and start to laugh, pushing my sadness all the way behind. I don't know how long I can put on a happy smile on my face.

I need someone to make me real happy and I'm blessed to have friends around me but after all, friends are just friends right? I need someone whom I really can pour my unhappiness and share my happiness with. But.. I know such things can't be rush or what. I want to make the right choice.. I not sure if the right person has appear. I need an answer but how..? Sigh.

"What's yours will be yours. No point forcing or rushing." 

Thanks buddy for the words. I guess I feel much better after all these typing. I am hungry. LOL got to go. Till next time.